Feeling Lost

Ok, here`s the thing
I am not that sad anymore
I guess the reason I still feel hurt
is not because I still love him
rather
it is because he has his happiness first with someone
After all hurtful feeling I have gained from him
(or because my thoughts about him)
plus his bride is quite more beautiful than me
(although my friend said I am way better than her,
hahaha, I want to believe her)
....
It feels a little bit unfair.
At least I should have gained from my tears
rather than him
But then again, it was just the ungrateful part of me

My friend agrees with me
rather than because of my heart
it is my pride that hurt due to this event
I am completely lost (in terms of loosing in a race)
Let`s just hope in the end, this all will be paid evenly
all of those tears
But let not be the way I want to
Let way that God wants to
until then, I will hold on what God said to Paul

[But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.]-- II Corinthians 12:9

Pride

Fate be changed, look inside.  Mend the bond torn by pride --The witch, BRAVE

Yesterday, me and my friends spend time together watching two movies; BRAVE and Les Miserables (Musical Version). They were great. But BRAVE touched me the most :D The reason was that it reminded me of my teenage. It made me almost cry here and there, and, inevitably, miss my own mom. I will not go on with the review. Instead, I want to write about what the movie emphasizes on pride.

Merida and her mom`s conflict reminds me a lot of me and my mom`s conflict especially 10 years ago. Both have their own pride They were too busy defending their pride but then they fall into a problem since they refuse to listen to each other.
I think having a pride is not a bad thing. It helps you to overcome your insecurity or doubt in doing something.. But then again, when it comes to how it affects your relationship with others, it is a whole different story.
Like Merida, I can be so frustrated with how sometimes my mom was too busy thinking about family`s pride than listening her own children`s feeling about something. I want to pursue my dream. My mom did not allow it. It was so difficult to make sure to your parents that I can do things I am proud of and I want to do. I am also confident that my mom can be sometimes frustrated with me acting I have known everything already and do not want to receive any suggestions from her in making decisions. Later, I realized, she only wanted the best for me. She just did not want to see me failing and tried to find a safer way for me so I will not be hurt by own decision. But, we did not communicate our real feeling because we have our own pride.
As a result, we argue and fight.
But then, thankfully, it did not go on long.
Pride might lead you to make yourself the center of the world, forcing people to understand you
and do things as you want to
Pride could blind you and make you do fool things in order to maintain it.
Pride might prevent you from trying to walk in others` shoes.
Eventually, pride indeed can torn a bond that once was tied tightly.
And you have to mend the bond before you lost it forever.
The movie shows that the broken bond torn by pride can be mend,
but it has to be mended quickly or you might loose the bond and person you love.
And it can only be mended by love.