Romcom syndrome

I realized recently I have this romcom syndrome. I actually love this romantic comedy genre movies. I mean who doesn't love movies that not require you any deep thoughts and end in happy lovey dovey ending despite of the struggles the couples have? 

Regardless, I always have this uncomfortable feeling after watching these movies. I will slowly feel pathetic while comparing myself, who have been single for my entire life, with these stories and friends or colleagues who have married or in exclusive relationship.

These main girl characters, no matter how f up or overweight or insecure they are, will always some patient and cool dudes to save them in terms of loving them unconditionally. No matter how much these girls push them away, the guys would chase and fight for getting them back again. I have some sweet lovey dovey moments too, but they always ends up with me forcing my imagination to be true while actually most of them are all just one sided feeling. Either I was too young for any relationship, misunderstood completely the attention I receive, or the latest one, geographical barrier. In the end, I always fail in terms of relationship. I even think maybe I am not meant to have a soulmate. It's kind of ironic because back then I thought life's so good I do not even need any relationship. Heck, I can take care myself. I've been single for my whole live, I am not a failed person. I don't suffer or die because of being single. Why bother right?

When it sinks  perfectly i will feel lonely and be the unfortunate person in this world. I know it's ungrateful, right? I have people who love me unconditionally like my parents and family I have God who have literally died for me despite of me being a f up sinner. There are many people out there have to struggle to live day by day, fighting cancer, even have to survive war

I try to be positive about myself and concentrate on my achievements so far. Not everyone can actually be on where I am now. But, then, I will feel incomplete. I guess I am beginning to see a pattern here, these kind of movies triggers these pathetic thoughts. I don't blame romcom movies. I blame myself doing the same mistake. I am victimizing myself. I think I should never watch this genre, not until I am actually in a relationship. Or at least not until I get rid of my insecurity of being single.

Gosh, I think I need some detox now.

I think I should watch dexter later.