but I just talked to my senior, and he accidentally talked about he will go on Thursday
to take care his (you know, that man that was now on his honeymoon trip) mouse which will come this week.
I feel a slight offense and hurt in my heart again, although, I can control it.
I was disappointed, he could have ask my help since we used the same room.
But, then again, he prefer to ask my senior instead.
I really tried to believe that he has no problem at all anymore with me
I can`t.
Every event occurred only lead to a proof that he hated me, or at least,
he choose to avoid me
I know I have to be more on positive thinking
I can`t help myself.
God, help me!
Sometimes it tempts me to mirror his attitude so he realized how much he has hurt me.
but probably he might not even realize it and I end up hurting myself with my fear and negative thinking
The hurt comes again as I am writing now.
My logic asked me to promise to myself not to even try to think about him or writing about him at all
since if I write then it means I will make myself remember things I`d better forget.
Instead of filling your thoughts with sad and hurtful ones, you should think about God.
Instead of mirroring his attitude, you have to be a lot nicer. You have to prove that you are way better than him. That way I will be the one who puts the burning coal unto his head, which, Forgive me, Lord, frankly I just want to do it literally.
I hope I can fulfill my promise.
Anyway I have 5 days without him. Such peaceful day. I mean I almost not thinking about him most of the time, at least, until my senior brought up accidentally the mouse thing.
I have to distract these kind of thoughts to something more valuable, like my research.....
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